Words to Live By

I struggle daily, with the opinions of people around me, making me feel 'less than.' Less than what, is difficult to explain. How do you explain a feeling that you are never good enough; you don't make enough money, aren't religious enough, don't drive the 'right' kind of car or have the 'right' kind of house, you don't raise your kids the way that others believe that they should be raised, and no one believes in the health problems that you have, because you don't look sick enough?

It's hard. Simple as that. No one's life is perfect, and no one does everything right. I ran across a very thoughtful blog several months ago. Today, his words are perfect. I needed to hear them, and I think they could be helpful for you too. 

Here are the topics:

1) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S FOOD CHOICES.

I know. I know. You are the guru of healthy eating. You’ve studied the latest studies which prove a diet of pure chicken feet makes you lose weight. I know you are strong. And healthy. And that you never give into temptation. But sometimes I do. For some reason, the harder I try to get healthy, the more people think they have a say in what I put into my body. When I was fat, nobody said a dang thing. Go figure.

2) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S WALLETS.

I know it is really hard to not care how much other people make. We all like to compare our own income to everyone else’s for some reason, and it isn’t healthy. Nobody’s worth is tied to money, even though we all think it is, so let’s stop trying to assign value to it.

3) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S CRUSHES.

We all want love. Hell, we all need it. Of all the human needs, it ranks right up there with hamburgers and M&Ms. But don’t think for even one minute that you’re allowed to tell me who I can and can’t develop crushes on. I know we all think we’re the masters of human interaction, and that we can simply look at any person and know whether they’re right or wrong for each other. But we’re not. And we can’t.

4) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S SEX LIVES.

If you want to be chained to the bed with your feet tied to the ceiling fan while he puts on a sock puppet show for you, that’s none of my business. Hard to believe, I know. If I want to hook up with someone twenty-three seconds after meeting them, that’s none of your business. It’s also none of your business if I want to wait until we’ve exchanged vows. It’s none of your business who I’ve had sex with, how often I have sex, or how crazy we get with it. Sex is a very personal thing, and everyone’s beliefs surrounding it are different.

5) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S EXERCISE HABITS.

This kind of goes with the food one. The healthier I get, the more people think they can get all up in my grill about what I’m doing to burn calories. They love to tell me when I’m doing it wrong. They make me tell them if I’m starting to slip or if I decided to stay home for one day (or twenty). If I want your motivation, I’ll ask for it (and sometimes I will). If I don’t ask for it, keep your nose out of it.

6) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S SUCCESS.

Success is like money. When other people have more than we do, we think it defines us. When other people have less than we do, we somehow think it makes us better than they are. When people at work have more success than us, we find ways to let everyone know they didn’t deserve it. Truth is, we all have our failures and our successes, and the only people we can compare ourselves to is ourselves. Who we were and what we were doing yesterday compared to today.

7) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S SICKNESSES.

Every time I mention that I have a headache, or that I see stars, or that my butt hurts, or that I’m sweating acid, everyone knows exactly what’s wrong with me, and exactly what I need to do to fix it. I know the internet has made everyone experts, but we’re not. Half the time my doctor doesn’t even know and he went to school for twelve years and studied nothing but how to fix my ailments.

8) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S PURCHASES.

When I tell you I’m broke, it doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to ever buy anything outside of Top Ramen and crap from the dollar bin. Poor people are allowed to splurge once in a while. When you think I’ve got plenty of money, it’s also none of your business if I spend that money on a nice car, or a four hundred dollar pair of headphones, or a pet monkey. And just because I find value in something that you don’t, doesn’t mean you need to go off on some rant about how it’s not something worth buying.

9) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S BELIEFS.

Yes, yes. I know. Your beliefs are true. You’ve made that perfectly clear. You have it right and everyone else who believes otherwise has it wrong. Look, I don’t care what you believe. I don’t even care if you believe that you know the truth. What I do care about are the times when you tell me my beliefs are wrong and that I need to get in line with your beliefs. So let’s make a pact. We’ll let each other know when we are ready to have the other person’s beliefs crammed down our throat. Until then, we don’t say anything. Fair enough?

10) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S BAD HABITS.

If it’s not directly affecting you, your life, or your happiness, it’s none of your business if anyone else choose to consume alcohol, suck on a cigarette, or eat lard by the spoonful. It’s also none of your business why anyone might choose to abstain from any or all of that. People aren’t stupid. They know very well what that crap does to their bodies. You telling them that it’s bad for them does nothing but annoy them. I promise.

11) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S STYLE.

Believe it or not, there is no “right way” to dress. If I’m more comfortable with a Polo shirt buttoned all the way to the top, tucked into flood pants, with white crew socks bunched around my Birkenstocks… ain’t none of y’alls business. If you want to wear thick wool suits to karaoke night at a grunge bar, ain’t none of my business. And if I want to be trendy and wear trendy clothes, that’s my business too. Nobody ever has to rationalize what they wear to others.

12) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S RELATIONSHIPS.

It is really easy for you to know exactly what I should be doing differently in my relationships when my relationship road gets bumpy. I know because it’s really easy for me to look inside your relationship and know exactly what you should be doing. But we have to remember that from the outside, just about everything is black and white. Inside relationships, it’s so much more gray than anything that can be seen by friends or family members. I don’t ever have to rationalize my relationship problems or let other people tell me what to do differently.

13) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S FAILURES.

If there’s one thing we love to stick our noses in more than other people’s successes, it’s other people’s failures. We sniff them out and hunt them down, and then we make sure to use other people’s failures as our platform for proving how we know better, would have done better, and wouldn’t have failed ourselves in such situations. But come on. Do you really think anyone wants to hear it?

14) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S SEXUALITY.

Gay. Bisexual. Straight. Transgender. Asexual. Pansexual. It’s really none of your business or my business. Somehow we have to move past this weird idea that we all need to know exactly what everyone else is or isn’t. Sexual labels trap people into lives that aren’t their own. They also trap people from being able to learn and grow and even change their minds if they need to. If we’d all get our noses out of other people’s sexuality, and simply not care, we’d all be happier. Acceptance is not an action. It’s simply the act of honestly learning not to care.

15) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S TIME.

Look, I’m not saying it’s the best way to spend my time, but if I want to watch all eight seasons of 24 without stopping or sleeping, and pee in milk jugs, and wait to shower until the end, that’s my business, not yours. If I want to spend my time making cross-stitches of 2Pac, or pickle-flavored popsicles, or homemade deodorant, that’s my business as well. Not yours. Just because you wouldn’t spend your time the same way I would, doesn’t mean you can tell me my way is wrong or weird or time wasted.

16) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S CIRCLES OF FRIENDS.

I’m always amazed when people I know and love begin telling me who I should and shouldn’t be hanging out with. They seem to forget that I’m a grown ass man. And their reasons are often stupid. She’s so weird! He’s such a nerd! Haven’t you noticed she waddles when she walks? I have different friends and different types of friends for a reason, and I don’t have to ever rationalize it, especially to other friends.

17) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S BLING AND INK.

If I want to jam a steel rod through my cheek, I am at a loss as to why I would need to explain that to you. If I want to pierce my nose, my ears, my lips, or my nipples, again, explain to me why I need to explain myself? Same goes for tattoos. You may not like it. You may not ever want the same thing for yourself. But it’s my body to do what I want with it.

18) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S BELIEF IN MARRIAGE.

We don’t live in the same world our parents and grandparents lived in. Marriage is not the same thing it used to be. Some people are all for it and the sanctity of it. Great! You’re not wrong. Some people will never want it and don’t believe in it. Great! You’re not wrong either. You can’t be wrong when you do what you believe. What’s wrong is to tell me that what I believe about it is wrong.

19) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S PARENTING.

This could be a huge post all by itself, so I’ll just bullet point the things that are none of your business: if I want kids. If I don’t want kids. If I can’t have kids. If I want to adopt kids. If I want to have lots of kids. If I want to discipline my child a certain way. If I want to keep my child up till eleven. If I want to keep my child up till 6:30. If I want to feed my child crap. If I want to buy my child a big new toy. If I want to give my child an iPad. If I want to get him a pony and keep that pony in his bedroom. I’m the parent. They’re my decisions. And you don’t have a say in it nor do I need to rationalize any of it to you.

20) GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S GENEROSITY.

If I want to give my server a big tip, I don’t have to explain that to you just because you feel like a cheapskate. If I want to donate money to my church, I don’t have to explain that to you just because you don’t donate to charities. And if I want to hoard all my money to myself and never share with anyone, guess what. None of your business.

Read the entire article here: 

20 Things That Aint None Of Your Business

If you read these, and follow them, you are certainly going to free up a lot of stress in your life By minding your own business, you allow yourself to work on your life. Let others worry about their life, and their problems.